Contemplation of Randomness

You all know by now that you cannot violate randomness by contemplating it. Unfortunately for us. But however...What's that? I'm contemplating it right now? No, I'm doing a prelude to the randomness.

As I was saying--however, I am going to do something random. Or perhaps not. If I announce that I am doing something random and then do it, it isn't random--because randomness happens randomly.

Now--Tolkien and Purple butterflies, right? Or maybe you do not care about the spelling?

Anyway, I will start eventually. Eventually.

So, without further ado!...uh, never mind. I cannot announce the start of my randomness.

Rawr! Tigers are extremely dangerous when ravenously hungry and looking for worms to eat. Don't ask me why he--it is a he, yes--is looking for worms--I haven't the slightest idea. He? I know it is a he because I did not call him a tigress. Tigress, as you know, means a tiger that stands about as high as a female tiger and looks exactly like one.

As for the flobbits...Well, they are short. How short? "Twice as tall as half of you and half as tall as twice of you", of course! At least, that's what it seems to me--and to Bilboy. What? You cannot understand my rambling? Tis not rambling! If you had half a... Oh, excuse me. Back to business. Now, I was speaking of flobbits, yes? What's that you say? Give you a better idea of how tall a flobbit is? Must I? Well...if I must...

A flobbit is three times as tall as a floggernopper, which is half as tall as a tinycroller, which is exactly 33% plus o.5 shorter than a barnsable, which stands about as high as a full grown teelopsy.

Now, back to Central. Central what? Central time zone! What do you mean I never left Central time zone?? Of course I did! I 'zone' out when I'm writing a blog post. :P

I think a lot. Speaking of Thinkalot, that is the last name--given to him--of Doc Dolittle, I believe. Actually, 'Dolittle' was his last name--but it was taken away from him, since he did a lot more than a little.

Maps, maps maps! I enjoy making maps, for sure. For instance, the exact center of Solir is...the Northeastern corner of Aale Forst. And the center of Venin is...Eyli, which is exactly the same distance from Eyli to Rive Sivil, as to Eyli to Lak Jii--the biggest lake in known existence and the largest quantity of water that side of the Yarj Mounts.

But besides the Red Sea--wait! That reminds me of Cyrano de Bergerac. He is AWESOME. How does that remind me of the Red Sea? Find out. :D

Moby, my dog! Uh, it's kind of hard to write a pargnopper when you are nudging me. No, go find someone else to torture and make pet you.

Where was I? Oh, yes, standing on top of a lightning pole...er, I meant to say telephone pole. Which is an inside joke with my family--only, I've forgotten it. All I remember of the joke is 'telephone pole'. I was standing on one.

Storms! Lookit that! The clouds seem to be making up for their lost time this summer. Silence, wind, silence, sprinkle, and so on...

Glory mornings, they say--or morning glories, that is. But the only thing glorious to me in the mornings is the snooze button and sleep.

The Shadows is Returning...No, that isn't it. Is The Shadow Returning? No...Well, yes, but that isn't the title, I mean. The Returning Shadows? No...Oh! I've got it!...it's...uh.... Oh! I have it now! 'The Return of the Shadow'. Hobbitized Strider with wooden shoes and all that. No, really--if you've read it, this makes sense.

Oh! Oh! Oh! The 'Secret Butterfly'. Oh, no--it was 'the Chocolate Butterfly' or something like that. No, not a book title--I never do two things twice. Plus--it is 'secret'--so if you are my sister, comment if you wish, but don't tell the meaning of the butterfly.

Phew! This is exhuasting, and I must go and arm-spar with my sister and make my arm red and partially bruised. It is worth it, though--all of the banging is fun, but for the alas! humidity.

So, anyway, I hope you left here feeling drained or refreshed. And if you didn't read this, SHAME ON YOU!

Oh, and one more thing before I skedaddle off into the Blue; if anyone can tell me how tall a flobbit is compared to a teelopsy, you get a gold star for doing useless math. :D

--
Jake

WAIT!...

...Don't get eaten by rabbits.

--
Jake